The drunken guy and the garden gnome
I think this either sounds like a joke or some kind of dirty viral internet video. Anyway, it’s what I encountered yesterday on the T.
I hopped on the Red line at Park St. and ran into a colleague. We chatted for a bit about where we live, what we paid for our first apartment in Boston and about real estate – I just bought, she’s thinking about buying. It’s pretty boring fare (probably to everyone but us).
The train was pretty light on passengers (which was surprising at 5:45 PM) but we opted to stand. There was a guy near us – seated – wearing a cowboy hat. He smelled familiar – stale beer and drunk. Like he’d been drinking for a while.
He inserted himself into our conversation, politely – he even said, “Excuse me, but ….,” before sharing his impossibly cheap apartment in Harvard Square story. “But that was about 12 years ago,” he added.
My colleague hopped off the train around Central and I continued to ride along with the drunk guy. The woman near me was clearly horrified that the drunk guy kept talking to me. I was a little annoyed – I wanted to keep reading. But whatever, he seemed harmless.
Then he revealed a secret.
“There’s a garden gnome named Gary down in that tunnel,” he said pointing out the window behind him to the dark tunnel speeding by. “You’ll see it near where the old platform was when we get closer to Harvard Square.”
As we passed the area – he pointed excitedly. I leaned closer to the window to take a peek but didn’t see anything except an orange cone.
“Did you see it?” he asked.
“No,” I admitted. “He must be hiding.”
The drunk guy pondered this as he gathered his stuff to get off the train at Harvard Square, “I don’t think Gary is dangerous, but he is certainly wily.”
And with that, the drunk guy stumbled away.
I think this either sounds like a joke or some kind of dirty viral internet video. Anyway, it’s what I encountered yesterday on the T.
I hopped on the Red line at Park St. and ran into a colleague. We chatted for a bit about where we live, what we paid for our first apartment in Boston and about real estate – I just bought, she’s thinking about buying. It’s pretty boring fare (probably to everyone but us).
The train was pretty light on passengers (which was surprising at 5:45 PM) but we opted to stand. There was a guy near us – seated – wearing a cowboy hat. He smelled familiar – stale beer and drunk. Like he’d been drinking for a while.
He inserted himself into our conversation, politely – he even said, “Excuse me, but ….,” before sharing his impossibly cheap apartment in Harvard Square story. “But that was about 12 years ago,” he added.
My colleague hopped off the train around Central and I continued to ride along with the drunk guy. The woman near me was clearly horrified that the drunk guy kept talking to me. I was a little annoyed – I wanted to keep reading. But whatever, he seemed harmless.
Then he revealed a secret.
“There’s a garden gnome named Gary down in that tunnel,” he said pointing out the window behind him to the dark tunnel speeding by. “You’ll see it near where the old platform was when we get closer to Harvard Square.”
As we passed the area – he pointed excitedly. I leaned closer to the window to take a peek but didn’t see anything except an orange cone.
“Did you see it?” he asked.
“No,” I admitted. “He must be hiding.”
The drunk guy pondered this as he gathered his stuff to get off the train at Harvard Square, “I don’t think Gary is dangerous, but he is certainly wily.”
And with that, the drunk guy stumbled away.
Labels: 2006
7 Comments:
God, I really have to start taking public transportation more often! Wily Gary the Garden Gnome is completely making my day.
Hahahaha.
Did the gnome also have a great, cheap apartment?
OK, that was one of the best "drunk encounter" stories I've ever heard. I'm going to be thinking "Gary the Garden Gnome" and snickering to myself for the rest of the day.
It's just not fair that you Red Line commuters get all the good crazy people.
You should buy a garden gnome t-shirt (CafePress has a ton of them).
You could then wear it on the Red line and show the drunken guy that you feel his pain, you know?
They have "...All the Gnomes are after you" and "Stop Oppressive Gardening, FreetheGnomes.com"-- I bought one for my sister.
but you did see "something" right? like, he wasn't totally off his rocker.
when i lived in sweden i met half a dozen people who really believed in gnomes! the way we (some)americans believe in aliens, they believe in gnomes or "tomte" as they call them.
Nope, I didn't see him. I think if I did see him, he'd have been one of those little garden gnome statues.
I did see on of those orange pylons. Not as exciting.
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