Mothers, hide yer babies!
Despite the fact I couldn’t hand out candy due to my Evil Eye (aka conjunctivitis) I did encourage children to take as many pieces of candy possible to avoid the dreaded Halloween Candy Leftover Syndrome (which I think is calculated at 2-4 pounds).
Kids would walk up, ring the bell and then go crazy at the sight of my ginormous bucket brimming with Skittles, Kit Kats and other assorted delicious tidbits. I’ve learned that Skittles are the most popular with small kids.
Although one kid was very excited about White Chocolate Reese’s Cups – despite my explicit podcast warnings otherwise – and another yelled with delight about Whoppers. Go kid! Often, they’d stand and stare into the abyss that is my Halloween candy bucket and mumble quietly too themselves like they couldn’t even process that so much candy would even exist.
Usually the dads are on the sidewalk while the kids were up at the front porch. Dads waived from the sidewalk when I’d say hi. I offered them candy, they declined. Deeps was in charge of kids – they would crowd him quickly and usually there were a few small kids in the back who couldn’t get in for a grab. I’d gently push the door wider and Deeps would squat down a little bit for the shorter kids.
The thing about kids is that some are totally delighted by the most ordinary things: exhibit A – the Poopus. She’d run towards the front door, pause and then freeze in terror as weenies would press their noses against our glass door and scream “Kitty!” It was like those kids never saw a cat before in their whole lives.
By the way, I live like 400 nose prints on my glass door.
I did encounter lots of moms this year. The problem with my plan to push out as much candy as possible was the mothers. The mothers hovered over their kids and strictly instructed them to “just take one.” Mothers – Halloween is about grabbing as much as you can. I plan for that. I give out the good stuff: no Dum Dums or off-brand sweets for us. We bring the good stuff.
Anyway, mothers with their “good parenting” and “careful attention to nutrition” thwarted me. But I figured some gnarly 7th graders or better yet - creepy high school kids in hoodies would help us out with the surplus. They never really showed up.
We only had one hoodie kid and no high school kids. We did get one small group of middle schoolers who politely asked if they could “have more than one” before digging through my bucket. Greedy, but polite – I like it!
Next year I vow there will be less candy, no pink eye and I’ll start plotting now to distract the mothers so that I can dump more candy in their kids’ bags.
Kids would walk up, ring the bell and then go crazy at the sight of my ginormous bucket brimming with Skittles, Kit Kats and other assorted delicious tidbits. I’ve learned that Skittles are the most popular with small kids.
Although one kid was very excited about White Chocolate Reese’s Cups – despite my explicit podcast warnings otherwise – and another yelled with delight about Whoppers. Go kid! Often, they’d stand and stare into the abyss that is my Halloween candy bucket and mumble quietly too themselves like they couldn’t even process that so much candy would even exist.
Usually the dads are on the sidewalk while the kids were up at the front porch. Dads waived from the sidewalk when I’d say hi. I offered them candy, they declined. Deeps was in charge of kids – they would crowd him quickly and usually there were a few small kids in the back who couldn’t get in for a grab. I’d gently push the door wider and Deeps would squat down a little bit for the shorter kids.
The thing about kids is that some are totally delighted by the most ordinary things: exhibit A – the Poopus. She’d run towards the front door, pause and then freeze in terror as weenies would press their noses against our glass door and scream “Kitty!” It was like those kids never saw a cat before in their whole lives.
By the way, I live like 400 nose prints on my glass door.
I did encounter lots of moms this year. The problem with my plan to push out as much candy as possible was the mothers. The mothers hovered over their kids and strictly instructed them to “just take one.” Mothers – Halloween is about grabbing as much as you can. I plan for that. I give out the good stuff: no Dum Dums or off-brand sweets for us. We bring the good stuff.
Anyway, mothers with their “good parenting” and “careful attention to nutrition” thwarted me. But I figured some gnarly 7th graders or better yet - creepy high school kids in hoodies would help us out with the surplus. They never really showed up.
We only had one hoodie kid and no high school kids. We did get one small group of middle schoolers who politely asked if they could “have more than one” before digging through my bucket. Greedy, but polite – I like it!
Next year I vow there will be less candy, no pink eye and I’ll start plotting now to distract the mothers so that I can dump more candy in their kids’ bags.
4 Comments:
Mmm...Skittles.
I think little kids dig the Skittles because they are the premier choking hazard! :)
And that cat, MY GOD. That's a biiiig cat. He could kill my lobsterdog.
You're that cool house where all the kids want to go!
What you need to do for the mommies is to stock a margarita bar or hot cocoa with cinnamon schnapps-- then they won't care how much candy their kids take. Seriously... I know people who do this. ;-)
I could make Skittles-flavored martinis for the moms. I like this line of thinking.
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