Windows

I don't know what the term is to describe this phenomenon - but sometimes Deeps and I leave messages for each other through our browser windows. We leave stuff open that that we think the other person might want to read.

This doesn't always guarantee that someone will read what you've left up, but it's a low-rent, passive-aggressive way of making your point.

Last week I left up an article about how many types of bacteria live in the household sponges that people like to use in their kitchen. (I'm anti-sponge, he's pro-sponge)

Today he left up this delightful article from America's finest newspaper, The Onion.

I particularly enjoyed this quote: "I'd also keep a very close eye on Yasmine Bleeth, the brunette from Baywatch who's not Carmen Electra," he added.

Like the Wild Kingdom

Guess who has the evil eye?

What if I added "again" to that question?

Yep. I have pink eye for the second time in about three weeks. Totally bizarre. I've called the eye doctor per my GP's advice. So there's that.

In other weird news I spotted a giant coyote on my way to work yesterday. We were driving near the big Alewife T station, approaching the back entrance when I spotted a big dog in the distance.

Deeps is a little skittish around animals - he wasn't raised with any pets and I think large animals make him nervous. This coyote wasn't quite as small as I've seen in the past near my parents' house in Indiana. I wasn't inclined to say anything to him about it, but then he said that the dog looked sick.

Me: He has mange.
Deeps: Oh yeah?
Me: Lots of coyotes do.
Deeps: That's a coyote?
Me: Yeah.
Deeps: So I've finally seen one?
Me: Yep.
Deeps: And now I'm going to drop you off just a few hundred feet from the coyote to walk to the station?
Me: Of course!
Deeps: Can you out run a coyote?
Me: He's probably more afraid of me than I'd be of him.
Deeps: I finished listening to the This American Life Halloween episode where the lady is attacked by a rabid raccoon.
Me: I'll probably avoid that.
Deeps: Fine, but if you're attacked by wolves commuting to work don't blame me.
Me: I think it's much more likely I would be attacked by a pack of tourists.
Deeps: And you have no idea if they are vaccinated against rabies either.
Me: Exactly.

The lion snores tonight

Dana, our cat, who is also called Poopus, has to go to the vet later this week. WE got the little postcard in the mail addressed to the cat reminding us it was time to get a check up.

This coincides with some kind of weird little growth on her chin. I couldn’t get a good look at it this morning since I was heading out for work and she was very squirmy. She also weighs 16 pounds so… it’s hard to maneuver her with one hand and check her face with the other.

I mentioned this to Deeps this morning and he agreed to help me with her when we got home.

Flash forward to after dinner (mmmm… burrito night!) and he’s got the cat wrapped up in a blanket while I try to hold her head up to see what’s on her face. I’m not really sure I could do anything but at least I could determine if the spot was tender and if she’s in pain.

She started to wriggle around – a lot. See, we stupid humans tried the maneuver on her that also sometimes signals the dreaded cutting of the nails. She was starting to wig out so I told Deeps to let her go as she squirmed out of his arms.

I’m not sure if it was the “excitement” or the fact that we’d been maybe squeezing her a little too hard – but she landed on the ground and started to loudly wheeze. I tried to comfort her and get her to relax, which she did… by throwing up. Twice. Giant hair balls.

Sorry, was that overshare?

Anyway, the cat doesn’t appear to be overly bothered by what looks like a giant cat zit. She’s not coughing up anything. She looks pretty content curled up on the rug. And we have an appointment on Wednesday. She’s learned a new defensive maneuver – vomiting at will and I can’t say that I’m looking forward to messing with her again.

I’ve already warned the vet’s office that Dana is half evil and is inclined to “very bad behavior” once she gets there. The vet tech assured me they could handle it. Apparently there’s a note in her file and a support team is on stand-by.

I need one of those teams at home.

Sometimes I don’t know when I’m done

Yesterday was a tough day of yard work. Deeps was motivated to deal with the huge deluge of leaves that migrated in our yard. We only have one tree in the front and two pine trees in the back, but every year our neighbors’ trees unload into our yard.

We’ve already done two rounds of tree clean up.

I’m not sure what happened. We worked for several hours doing clean up. I felt pretty good – if not smelly. I cut down a small dead tree that was propping up the neighbors climbing rose bush (please do not try to come between New Englanders and their overgrown shrubbery).

Okay, I didn’t actually cut it down… I ripped it out because it was so dead and rotty. Then we hacked that dead thing to pieces. It was very satisfying.

Afterwards I called my Dad – there’s a point to my story – to wish him a happy birthday. We chatted for a few minutes and then when it was over I wrapped up the call.

Deeps looked at me from the dining table.

Me: What?
Deeps: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah.
Deeps: You realize you just wished your father a Happy New Year.
Me: Did I really?
Deeps: Yep.
Me: Wow.
Deeps: You probably need to eat something. You never know when you’re done.
Me: Maybe he didn’t notice.
Deeps: If he did, he probably thinks you’re drunk.
Me: So what else is new? Hey when did you put the blinds down?
Deeps: Uhm, you did that before you got on the phone.
Me: I should probably eat something.
Deeps: Good idea.

On Scrabble… and other stuff

I don’t really play Scrabble. I’m not a huge fan. But sometimes events conspire against me.

My college roommate and friend of more than a decade, Kristen, was (and I believe still is) a huge Scrabble fan. We were excellent roommates. Or rather, she was an excellent roommate. I’m not really sure what I brought to the table.

I thought of K when I came across Stefan Fatsis’ funny book Word Freak which covers his efforts to become a world-class Scrabble player.

Scrabble was the source of one of very few fights*. We were playing Scrabble at her house one day and I wasn’t really into it. But Kristen was very competitive and sensed that I wasn’t especially interested. This … I might say infuriated her. Since she's coming to my house soon, I'll leave out any foggy recollections I may have had. Let's just say tempers flared and words were exchanged.

And that was the last time we played Scrabble.

* For those who care - our other fight was the awful incident involving Christmas. She’d decorated our apartment with all kinds of festive lights for the holidays. I came home from working (possibly all night) at the newspaper and sat down on the couch, exhausted. I chatted with her for a few minutes, but didn’t comment on the decorations. I don’t think I’d really noticed.

She was unhappy.

Then we bickered like an old married couple and stopped in the middle of our fight when we realized K had become like my wife and I had become like her loutish husband. So we decided that we should go find some boys to hang around with or something.

He appreciates my flights of fancy

I’ve become totally obsessed with podcasts. I like listening to other people talk about their interests and their lives.

So yesterday while working on a particularly gnarly project I listened to what might be my most favorite single episode of any podcast ever – how to survive a zombie uprising.

I like the frank and brutal pragmatism of the podcasters. It’s also funny.

Deeps and I live a few blocks from a cemetery and we like to walk through it after dinner. Every time we round the bend with the spooky tree, the weird pond thing and the old tombstones I like to mention the possible zombie hordes.

“Do you think they’ll head for us or toward the center?” I asked my husband.
“Well there are more people in the center,” he answered.
“And a Starbucks.”

Extra Hours

I love and hate when daylight savings is over and we get that extra hour. I like to sleep. This weekend, we ended up using that extra hour in the massive basement reorganization. I can live with that – but I really had planned on using that extra hour for a nap.

Anyway, what’s important here is that Deeps has expanded his storage options for his massive CD collections. Men and CDs go together like peanut butter and jelly. You can’t stop them for amassing more CDs. I’ve even suggested that he might want to go all digital. He wasn’t interested.

As long as he’s happy, I’m happy. And when I’m happy, he’s happy. I’m happy – he’s happy. Maybe I’ll get to squeeze in that nap sometime later.

Filler: Attempt number 149

Deeps is hard to rattle when it comes to…. Just about anything. But that doesn’t stop me from trying.

Me: What’s going on with your hair?
Deeps: What?
Me: Your hair looks different.
Deeps: Hmm.
Me: Yeah, like… like anchorman hair. But I like it.
Deeps: Oh I used your shampoo.
Me: The red stuff or the volumizer?
Deeps: I guess the volumizer since my hair isn’t red.
Me: And the bathroom doesn’t look like you’ve hacked up a body.
Deeps: Is that from the shampoo?
Me: Wow. I had no idea that volumizer actually works.
Deeps: I guess it does.
Me: I think I have too much hair for it to work.
Deeps: And I have just enough.

Won't this pretty picture distract you from my cranky behavior?

Boston Public Garden, September 2006
Originally uploaded by nopity.

Deeps picked me up at the train station and I was a little cranky. I'm not sure what the source of cranky is, but I have a suspicion that it's because I'm very, very sore.

See - yesterday I go this bright idea to go to the gym for a good workout. I arrived early enough to make it to the 15 minute abs class. A colleague was at the gym as well and I suggested we go to the class together. Because – you know… 15 minutes, how hard could that be?

Oh my.

About two minutes into the class I realized I’d made a terrible, terrible mistake.

And whenever I can move my neck and head again, I’ll probably return to the class. I don’t know anything else like exercise that can make you feel so awful and still seem like a good idea later.

Anyway, I’m incredibly stiff and cranky. A week off from the gym for a cold didn’t help things at all.

As we drove home I was listening to Marketplace because I’m fascinated by stuff I don’t understand (finance) and Kai Ryssdal’s voice is very soothing. But then one of the reporters was doing a story that started to annoy me.

Me: Why does he say five grand and up to five times that?
Deeps: You mean instead of five to 25 grand?
Me: Why beat around the bush? Just say five to 25. What an *@@&^%#!
Deeps: That’s harsh.
Me: (muttering) Total *=!+ move.
Deeps: So it’s going to be like that is it?
Me: I guess so.

Lost in Paramus

A few times a year, I have to go down to visit the family of my beloved and beleaguered husband. I don’t know if he’s excited about these trips but it’s my best opportunity to spend quality time driving around New Jersey.

Say what you will about Jersey, but it has a lot of shopping opportunities. I haven’t seen so many Targets and diners and Nordstrom’s in my whole life. After we drive around a lot – without shopping – I then get to go to my in-law’s house. They keep the median indoor temperature around 80 degrees. Then I get to sleep on the world’s hardest bed. On the world’s hardest pillow next to my beloved husband.

I like to remind myself how much I love him. This is important so that I don’t try to escape in the middle of the night with the car and the one of my shoes.

But I tried to have a better attitude about the trip this year. We spent 10 quality hours driving to and from Jersey and I saw lots of lovely fall foliage. So I guess it was the longest and most awkward… and hot leaf peeping trip ever.

Sweats in the city

Deeps picked me up from the Alewife T station after work last night.

Me: (sweating)
Deeps: Are you okay?
Me: It was really hot on the train.
Deeps: Ew.
Me: And it smelled like…
Deeps: bad?
Me: Only if you consider the complex bouquet of old hobo urine and moldy take-out bad.
Deeps: Huh.
Me: Yeah.
Deeps: So what’s for dinner?
Me: I’m going to need a moment before I answer that.

Three conversations about one thing

Me: It was a little cold this morning.
Deeps: I know – we might have to pull out the jackets soon.
Me: I need to take my scarves to the cleaners.
Deeps: Do I have a scarf?
Me: Yeah. I’m thinking of getting a new hat.
Deeps: Oh yeah?
Me: A beret.
Deeps: (giggle)
Me: I look good in a beret.
Deeps: Yeah.
Me: It’s true.
Deeps: okay.
Me: Will you be on my podcast?
Deeps: No.
Me: Please!
Deeps: No.
Me: Fine.

Deeps: What’s for dinner?
Me: Tiny tacos.
Deeps: Like taquitos?
Me: Like tiny tacos.
Deeps: Hmm.
Me: They’re good.
Deeps: Yeah.
Me: Will you be on my podcast?
Deeps: No.
Me: !!!

Deeps: How much was the last cable bill?
Me: I don’t know.
Deeps: Do you have an approximate guess?
Me: I can look. Why do you need it?
Deeps: Because I’m trying to verify our account with the cable people.
Me: Oh. Do you want to be on my podcast?
Deeps: Honestly woman.
Me: It’s going to be awesome.
Deeps: No.
Me: I have music now!
Deeps: No.
Me: Extra awesome.
Deeps: No.

Dr. Giggles

I’m not feeling especially clever today – that will become obvious when you read the rest of this entry - but I thought I’d share a few encounters I had with Deeps last night.

Me: Do you know where the colander is?
Deeps: No.
Me: Maybe you should call the police.
Deeps: You think you’re so funny.
Me: (hysterical laughter)

Later
Me: Have you seen my cell phone?
Deeps: No.
Me: I’m worried. I think we should call the police.
Deeps: (grumbling)
Me: (hysterical laughter)

Even later
Me: Have you seen the cat?
Deeps: Why should I call the police?
Me: No. I thought I heard her making the barf sound.
Deeps: Oh god.
Me: I know.
Deeps: Maybe she’s in the basement.
Me: Maybe we should call the police – and tell them to bring the hazmat team.
Deeps: ….
Me: (hysterical laughter)

Adventures in Marriage #216

Suby the Subaru is close to being replaced. I’d say it’s happening in the next week or two. She’s been a good and faithful car for over a decade but now it’s time to send her down to Jersey where she’ll live out her final days with my in-laws. Now comes the more complicated time....negotiations.

Me: What’s up with the car?
Deeps: The Toyota dealership guy called.
Me: Did you call him back?
Deeps: No, I’m not sure what to tell him.
Me: Tell him we want to know if the car is available and if there’s any deals on financing.
Deeps: I know but I’m not sure about all the features.
Me: Do you just want me to call?
Deeps: (pause) No. I can do it.

Later….

I hand Deeps the phone with the number for the dealership plugged in.

Deeps: What?
Me: Call the guy and find out about the car – when it’s available and for how much. Oh and find out about side airbags.
Deeps: Fine….
He wanders off and has a short conversation. And returns a few minutes later
Me: So?
Deeps: He’s going to get us information about the blue one. I told him that he should call back tomorrow after 8. I think it’s more than you want to spend. But you’ve got to talk to him.
Me: Oh is it that time?
Deeps: Yeah, and I need him to know that you play hardball.

Let's get married and never talk

I was listening to this story on NPR the other day about a guy who married this woman but he didn't speak for the first year of their marriage. He was about to become a monk when he met her and decided he should have sex one last time before taking vows.

I'm unclear what 'order' he was going to enter. Anyway...

Apparently they fell in love but I don't think they talked much because he was doing intermittent vows of silence and then got married but didn't speak for the first year. I missed the rest as I arrived at the mall before the story was over. But, it got me thinking.

Maybe it's not a bad idea. I'm getting married soon (don't ask) and maybe Deeps and I should explore this vow of silence. We've got the whole vow of poverty thing nailed!

Ba-da-bump! Thanks ladies and germs, I'm here all week!

Baby people
There are many babies in my life -- my sister's having a baby, my best friend and former college roommate is having a baby, my friends' wives are having babies. Everyone has baby fever.

So, for the baby people I thought you'd all appreciate this blog entry I found. This guy writes about the music that he and his wife chose for their kid -- basically it's only stuff they can tolerate.

Babies need names
One day I'll get around to updating my list of lists to include some of the baby name lists I've composed with Deeps. We have a whole complicated system for determining the right name combination for a baby. Among some of our criteria the name should reflect the personality of the family, it has to sound good and has to be yellable.

Mmm....dinner
Babies need food right? I have no idea how I came across this blog but reading it makes me really, really, really hungry. I need to go to the grocery store. Anyway, I think it's fascinating that this guy writes with such zeal about food. I might have to try some of his recipes.